Sunday, March 25, 2007

IT'S GREEN...IT HAS LEAVES...IT'S A SCHEFFLERA

Following the death of...the passing...croaking of the fern, I am somewhat pleased to announce the arrival of a new plant. I use the term "somewhat" since nothing can immediately replace that cute, little sassy fern, which stole my heart! There was something about the way she/he grew in that special fern-ish medium a.k.a. dirt with those unique-ish delicate fronds extending from the earth....

Enough mourning.

As I wrote a new plant, a schefflera, has joined the household. I've always admired this specie when passing through the garden centres with its umbrella-like leaves plus it was on sale at Walmart for $2.29. One i.e. me, wonders how 'they' arrive at these weird prices for items. Like $9.97 or $3.39... Be that as it may it was too good a bargain and opportunity to pass up.

One doesn't just pick up the first plant that one lays eyes on because in my humble opinion, the weak species are always placed in the front by store personnel who receive their orders from plant growers.

"Dear Store Clerk or whoever is reading this," they most probably write. "Please note that in spite of our efforts to produce flaw-less species, some of our plants are rejects. To maximize their chances of being sold to suckers...plant lovers, please place this houseplant and others similar in appearance in front of your display."

We're talking here about feeble plants or those with spider mites that will live on average a couple of months (most times less), after which they croak and then you feel guilty and assume the blame when in effect, it's all a big plot to unload those that don't make the grade. Believe me - I know!

After ten to fifteen minutes of looking over, picking-up-and-replacing many plants, finally the decision was made and the dye cast...whatever. The law of gravity even came into play. Pots/containers turned upside down to examine the underside of leaves will result in the falling of earth everywhere. Do scientists know about this?

According to various houseplant sites, raising schefflera is simplicity personified. There is one little downside to this plant, however (isn't there always?): spider mites! Seems that these absolutely ghastly insect interlopera love scheffies (I've already personalized our relationship)! Yesterday as a preventative measure I washed each and every leaf on scheffy, however, if there are any of the usual tell-tale signs of infestation i.e. weeny spider webs, I'll have to switch to insecticide soap. Of course I always use the environmentally-friendly stuff but as someone once mentioned: how friendly could it be given the end result. Always with the guilt.



Here's some garden-friendly sites worth visiting:

http://www.icangarden.com/document.cfm?task=viewcategory&categoryid=266

http://www.perennials.com/

http://gardeninglaunchpad.com/

Suggestions of your favorite gardening sites welcome!!!


www.jrslater.com/forum




Friday, March 09, 2007

The Suicidal Fern

Upon reading about the death of my fern whom I named Fern, it was suggested to me that perhaps - just perhaps - my fern committed suicide of the chlorophyll type. At first I scoffed and laughed at such a suggestion. I mean - c'mon - plant suicide? Then I thought further about this possibility. Is there no end to the guilt I must bear?

See...I left Fern, the fern, in the care of my son and daughter-in-law during a five week holiday, assuming they would at least be able to keep it alive until I returned. Although I'm sure they meant well, they're mere common houseplant caregivers with no experience in this type of species. So in conducting their weekly watering, they probably gave Fern an ample dose of tap water (not bought bottled water as Fern prefers and is accustomed to) to sustain her. Ferns are known to be emotional (somebody told me that) finicky and spiteful. Upon realizing that it was getting water straight from the tap, it probably/could have/might have turned on them (and me) and closed down. Given the temporary caregivers experience dealing with finicky species, they probably figured that the dark green shade it turned was normal, when in effect it was committing suicide.

Actually, I had thought about bringing along Fern on holiday with me but was worried we'd be stopped at the border since the transportation of plants out of the country is a no-no.

"What's that?" a customs officer might have asked, retrieving Fern and holding it up.

"Oh that? Well...it's a plant, kind customs person," I would have told the officer.

"Hmmmm...what type of plant? The kind that you roll the leaves and smoke? Huh?" he must have continued, examining Fern's leaves and sniffing the air.

"It's a fern, officer," I would have answered.

"Oh yeah? How do I know that?" he would have peppered me with questions.

"Trust me. Here - look at the plastic information stick they supply. See? F-E-R-N," I would have told the customs person."

"Perhaps...but you can't transport living things accross the border, y'know!" the customs person would have informed us, matter of factly.

"Why not? I bring him along!" I would have commented, pointing to my husband and laughing.

At that point my husband would, knowing him, chirp in and tell the customs person to confiscate the plant since he's a law-abiding citizen. He's also not a fern lover. Not a fern hater you understand but definitely not a lover or even liker, either.

As for the blooming Christmas Cactus that is covered in red blossoms - it probably flowered in my absence to punish me. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Trust me on that.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

When is a Christmas Cactus not a cactus?

My Christmas Cactus is blooming and it's March. Just so bloody typical. In December it looked semi-dead and now it's producing flowers like its attempting to make up for lost time.

When all the other cactus (or cacti?) in the world give their all in December, my plant decides to belatedly welcome the holidays three months later.

Actually and according to plant experts, they're (Christmas Cactus) not really members of the cactus family that live in arid conditions but are raised in a tropical environment.

Go know! I've been treating them like prickly one's watering them perhaps every three weeks or once a month. Sometimes less.

I could be a plant torturer!

According to a plant site that focuses on the care of this plant, "...the key to getting Christmas cactus to flower during the holiday season, is the proper light exposure, correct temperatures and limited watering. So during the fall months, the Christmas cactus should be placed in a spot where it receives indoor indirect bright light during the daylight hours but total darkness at night."

I'm okay in as far as the watering part is concerned and CC is sitting on a bookcase in front of the window where it receives ample and direct sunlight.

So far, so good. One point for me.

At night time I make a point of closing the blinds for privacy but the plant benefits too and that's alright. Two more points in my favor.

The site also advises Christmas Cactus owners that the plant should not be placed near a door that opens and closes at night and to keep it away from drafts and heating ducts. Gimme a break! I will not live my live based on the whims of a plant that doesn't act normally! Then again neither does its caregiver but that as they say, is another whole story. This darn plant receives better care than many members of the family and chooses to defy logic by blooming on St. Paddy's Day.

I'm toying with the idea of repotting the plant. A little plant shake up now and then might bring it to its senses. Or not.

http://www.humeseeds.com/xmasccts.htm for some help dealing with errant Christmas Cactus.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

RIP...fern plant!

My fern died.

I wasn't around to do anything about it and that makes it even worse. Ask me if I feel guilty. I do.

I entrusted Fern (my name for her) with a relative who wasn't familiar with ferns while I took a short vacation with instructions to follow the plastic information stick provided by the supplier. Perhaps she received too much water. Perhaps she didn't receive enough. Maybe it had too much light...or not enough light. Go know. When I returned, Fern was a shrivelled up mass of brown.

I feel like I let her down.

Sorry Fern. I tried.

Oh the angst and guilt of plant death!