THE PLANT DOCTOR IS OUT!

by Eleanor Tylbor

Today I'm feeling guilty even though there's no real reason for it. As a plant raiser it's common to assume the blame for the demise of a favoured specie and there's always the usual post-mortem 'should-have-would-have-could-have' that follows. It's bad enough having to deal with the death of one's own plants but when they belong to 'others' the guilt is disconcerting to say the least. What type of an explanation can be offered in the way of an excuse? It was an accident? A good news/bad news account i.e. your plant enjoyed living in the flower box and provided a flourish of color. Bad news: it croaked?

Am I anguished? Consumed with guilt? You bet!

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to intervene in some problematic tropical plants living in an indoor flower box that were slowly dying.

"You know all about house plants," were the exact words uttered by the owner who handed me the box in the hope of a miracle resurrection.

Do I know about plants! Moi! The person who once had a gardening show on public access television, focusing on how to get the best out of an almost-dead garden.


KNOW: (vb) knew/knowing; to perceive directly; have understanding or direct cognition of; also to recognize the nature of: to be acquainted or familiar with


Many green species from many sources have graced the corners and windows of our home ranging from your store-bought tropical and floral types to more earthly beginnings as fruit seeds. However death has stalked many - more than many - following my interventions. This isn't the type of information one divulges when asked to administer first aid of the chlorophyll-type.

Anyway, the ailing box of plants, a gift from a valued business acquaintance, held the primo position in the reception area where it could be admired by everyone entering the office. Once the deterioration process set in and the inevitable slip into the hanging on for dear life but not quite dead state, the plant was wisely removed from public view. It was for this reason it ended up on my doorstep, literally and figuratively.

Asking a self-professed "green-thumber" the seemingly innocent question as to whether a plant can be saved is akin to issuing a personal challenge, and intimating that there is doubt it can be achieved by mere human intercession. Many plant people consider themselves divinely blessed with special healing abilities.

A cursory examination revealed mini spider webs indicating flying visitors in a feasting mode. Let it be stated for the record that enlightening neophyte owners to the presence of spider mites is not a wise move, since it inevitably triggers a fit of scalp scratching followed by a quick departure. There wasn't even enough time to explain that spider mites are vegetarians.

Amateurs!

While towering over the plants to assess the extent of the problem there was this brief sensation of being omnipotent with the power of life and death in my hands. Following a brief pep talk that included a flourish of compliments regarding their leaves and species, they were given a natural pick-me-up tonic frequently administered to my own houseplants, consisting of dissolved gelatine powder in water. Most of my plants - those that remain - have always responded favourably by producing a flourish of new leaves. To maximize growth potential the box of plants was placed in an area that received diffused light but not direct sun light, which could burn their leaves. In retrospect those plants received better care than members of my family.

Eleanor's Plant Growing Diary

Day 1. Assessment of problem: black tips on leaves indicating something is wrong. Solution: give plants a healthy dose of dissolved gelatine in water

Day 2. One of the plants keeled over and died last night. Solution: remove evidencedead plant

Day 3. Black tips have extended down to cover half the leaves on some of the plants. Checked houseplant book for possible cause. None available although there was mention of an incurable virus. Solution: isolate plant to another area of the room that doesn't receive much light. A bad move on my part.

Day 4. Woke up to yet another dead plant. The box is beginning to look sparse. Solution: spread out leaves of remaining plants to make it appear more full than it is. Gave the plants another pep talk i.e. "please-oh-please no more death!"

Day 5. Completely and utterly demoralized. Out of the original six plants, only three live and two are ivy. I mean, who can kill ivy? Perhaps not a good question in light of current events. According to another plant book they probably acquired an incurable virus at point of origin, which cannot be cured, even with divine intervention or my help. Go explain that to the owner!

Day 6. Turned over soil with plastic spoon. Figured if it works in the garden, it couldn't do any harm in the box. Accidentally dug up an unseen plant originally thought to be dead

Day 7: Seriously considering replacing the "dearly departed" with some new plants. Problem exists in that I can't remember the types of plant and which went where

Day 8. Received a phone call from the owner as to an update and was advised that the box is being picked up. Panic!

Day 9. Owner will be here in an hour. Panic!

Day 10. Plant box has gone along with my credibility. I mean, it was only plants, after all! There was no reason for the name-calling! Gave owner one of my avocado plants in the way of an apology along with the assurance of free avocados within three months

In case anybody wants to know, the doctor is out. Got that?

FITTONIA LIVES...FOR NOW

My fittonia is still in the land of the living but no thanks to Walmart. If there's an underlying (or underlaying...whatever) message to this whole experience is don't trust Walmart's plastic information sticks because they lie. Perhaps 'lie' would be a little too strong. Let's say the sticks don't know anything about the plants in which they are inserted.

My stick as did all the other information sticks so that should say something in itself, instructed the care giver to "little light. Very little water." My interpretation of these words was to place it away from direct light and in a shady place and to water it only when the soil was dry. By now I should have developed a sense of humor when it comes to houseplant raising but the truth is - I haven't. Their eventual demise always gets to me.

It began with the shrivelling of the leaves and then their eventual fall followed by the stalks losing color. Before moving we had an intimate chat as to our relationship in that it would have a place in the new apartment as long as it showed signs that it wanted to live. Things didn't look promising for a while, however, desperation and a strong desire to assume the role of giver and extender of life, I gave it a healthy dose of water and placed it in front of a window that received diffused light. Behold and verily, verily - a miracle happened! Over the the next few days the plant's white veined leaves returned to their former healthy state and tiny buds appeared at the leaf junctions. To say I was jubilant - and shocked - but obviously pleased with this miracle (at least I like to think it was and is a miracle) would be an understatement.

So now fittonia receives the conventional houseplant care and appears to be loving it. Keep my experience in mind when Walmart has a sale on houseplants: information sticks are liars.

Day 2: fittonia update: the news is not so good

So as instructed on the plastic information stick(?) I've been keeping my fittonia away from direct light...whatever that means. Presumably, it's telling me to keep it away from the sun.

Check.

The stick instructions also maintain that it doesn't like too much water.

Check.

However, barely 24 hours in my care and home, the tips of the leaves don't look so well. They are sort-of shrivelling and turning the dreaded brownish-blackish.

A consult was in order so I thumbed through the pages of my "Directory of House Plants" for some help or direction to take. According to the book Fitty needs high humidity and my house is drrrry. This does not bode well. The proverbial icing on the cake is the sentence: "Difficult to keep unless the humidity is high, but plants do well in a bottle garden."

Bottle garden?

This got me thinking. Perhaps - just perhaps - I could slice the top off a 2 litre soft drink bottle and Fitty could move in. Kind of a "bubble plant" type of existence. The attention value would be great especially when friends visit.

"Um...I don't want to seem instrusive," one of my nosy friends would most likely comment, "but is there any reason why your plant is in a Coke bottle?"

Going into lengthy explanations as to the rationale behind my move i.e. bottle+humidity=life for Fitty, would just make me appear even more weird than they already believe I am. Or I could place Fitty in a plastic zip-lock bag sprayed with water and see what happens.

So today Fitty is moving in to a zip lock bag. Maybe it'll work...or maybe it won't. More reports forthcoming.

Plastic plant information sticks are liars!

A new "baby"of the chlorophyll-kind has joined the "family" known as a "Fittonia" and although its a real cutie, I see heartbreak ahead. Bought at Walmart for $1.69 the plastic information stick advises that this specie likes "a little light and very little water." Problem is how valid are the instructions especially when it's applicable to 200 other plants types?

The way that I see it and read things, all tropical plants fall into one of two categories:

a) "Little light. Very little water."

or...

b) "Lots of light. Water generously"

That's it folks!

According to information obtained on the Web, this specie requires extra-special care. Here's a photo of the newcomer on the Wiki site and some information:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fittonia

Can't help but note the somewhat disturbing blurb, "without water for a few days, this plant is known to "faint" but is easily revived with a quick watering and resumes its healthiness."

Oh gawd! Just what I need! A flower that faints at the slightest provocation! More guilt! If I go away for a short or longer vacation, my son who believes that all plants are created equally could either over-water or under-water her/him/it!

Furthermore, "the Fittonia is known to be difficult to grow so it is best bought at a nursery then cared for."

This just might be a really short relationship.

Anyway, according to the instructions and advice on the plastic stick, Fittonia likes "little light - Very little water." Maybe yes and maybe no.

What I want to know is who writes these information blurbs, anyway? Is it somebody who actually knows about plant raising or someone in public relations who also writes blurbs for fortune cookies? Perhaps on occasion she/he gets them mixed up and we houseplant raisers get the wrong information. Someone might crack open a fortune cookie and hoping to get some advice on their love life, might instead read: "lots of light. Water generously." At least that would explain all the deaths in the "family."

So Fittonia - I'll call her Fitty for short - is bathing in sunlight. Why I don't know because maybe she would prefer shade. I think she would prefer shade but go know! In the end a guess is as good as a plastic stick.


Writers & Friends
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SPRING HAS SPRUNG...tra-la tra-la

"Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today; And give us not to think so far away As the uncertain harvest; keep us here All simply in the springing of the year."
(Robert Frost)

FIRST SPRING LOOK INTO THE GARDEN

My rock garden has what started out to be multi-colored achillea millifolium a.k.a. yarrow, but for some unknown reason changed to plain, old pink flowers, in addition to achillea filipendulina a.k.a. fern leaf yarrow (yellow), bergenia cordifolia a.k.a. pig squeak, which really doesn't belong in a rock garden but I like it there because of its early-blooming pink flowers and the leaves that start out green and slowly turn pink-ish as the summer wanes, I think - not sure yet - I lost the campanula lactiflora, which had such pretty lavender-colored flowers. On the side of the rock garden that is in the shade there is hosta rectifolia that I'm using as an anchor between the rocks.

"The Amen of nature is always a flower."
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

There is a lot of sedum planted in various areas of the rock garden when we first bought the house that I have divided over the years. One thing about this species is that it never lets you down and returns year after year. There are also (very) mature evergreen miniatures that really should be removed and replaced since they're in that not-alive-but-not-dead-either netherland state of being. I'm a very sentimental gardener.In the back flower bed against a fence I'm growing beds of rudbeckia that have taken over a large area but their pretty yellow heads with brown centres blowing in the breeze are just so...happy-looking.

"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."
(Margaret Atwood)

Way in the back hidden under the bough of a fir tree that my next door neighbor agrees not to trim, a white and pink gypsophila plant is growing relatively well, with some years better than others. The anemone are also flourishing and although this is a strong flower that has a tendency to take over the garden, it doesn't transplant well. On the shady side of my house I had a beautiful bed of pink dianthus flourishing there for years but for some bizarre reason, which I can't fathom for the life of me (I'm so dramatic!), they up and died, each and every one. The blue-colored Forget-me-nots will bloom in the middle of May and there is something so lovable - at least for me, anyway - about these blooms. Guess it has to do with their name.

In addition to my Iris bed on the sunny side of the house, I also have a scattering of purple coneflowers sort of hiding between the iris leaves. The effect is nice, though. Then of course we have the hollyhocks, that are supposed to be a biennial but return every year since they self-seed.

There are more but I can't remember their names right now but I'll check later on the garden sites. I mainly use two gardening books that I bought on sale at a local book outlet: "An Illustrated Guide to Garden Flowers" and "Popular Flowering Plants." Thing is that while I love the beautiful photographs, many of the species would croak in my growing zone so I really should be buying books that are specifically geared towards Canadian growing zones. One of my best gardening books...actually a soft-covered book was picked up for $1.50 at a second-hand store. Very, very basic but all-inclusive so gardeners don't have to pay a lot of money to get good advice.

A GARDENING STATE OF MIND: FAVORITE GARDENING SITES

Glancing out of my window at light snow falling, it certainly doesn't resemble anything Spring like and definitely doesn't send one into a gardening state of mind. Be that as it may it won't be long before gardeners will be tilling the earth, seeding and all the other steps that they hope will result in a successful growing season.

When it comes to gardening everyone - at least most gardeners - have a favorite site to which they return for information. These are the sites that offer the basic "how-to's" or ABC's of getting things to grow and more importantly, to live and hopefully, thrive.

Achieving a successful garden depends on the garden's geographical location and using species that are natural to that particular area. Other factors involved are the length of the growing season, the amount of sun, rain fall, etc. Here are some of my favorites:

Icangarden
http://www.icangarden.com/- a Canadian site, it contains a wealth of information about all aspects of gardening with information suited for all areas of the U.S. and Canada. Helpful articles, live chat with experts, Kidz Korner, Gardening Communities...more

GardenWeb http://www.gardenweb.com/ - "The Internet's Garden and Home Community". Resources including a botany base, forums, photo galleries

National Gardening Association
http://www.garden.org/home - "The National Gardening Association (NGA), founded in 1973, is a nonprofit leader in plant-based education."
Site contains plant finder, weed library, pest control, etc. Over-all excellent resource

Cornell University Gardening Resources
http://www.gardening.cornell.edu/
Anything and everything(!) related to gardening and growing


If you're reading this then chances are you're a gardener. Share your (non-commercial) favorite sites with others so we all can become better growers!

SCHEFFLERA UPDATE - IT'S ALIVE

Well...the news is good - so far. My schefflera is still alive.

It's been approximately two weeks since it joined a couple of other plant oldies and its i.e. the plant, is holding its own. On one occasion there appeared to be small white-ish webs on the underside of the leaves so rather than use the "bad" spritz-spritz-kill-those-bugs stuff, I washed the entire plant with tap water. Of course it could have been just plain dust bunnies and not spider mite webs, but we plant owners can't and shouldn't take chances.

I'm still lonely for the dearly departed fern and am contemplating buying another fern-type. Fern's premature death could have been as a result of plant/owner anxiety separation and now that I'm home, at least this reason/cause can be eliminated.

As for the schefflera while it's still alive, its just...there. No new leaves and no signs of anything, actually. I've moved it around the room in the hope of seeing some new sprouting but that hasn't worked.

Maybe it requires vitamins. I shall now focus upon getting the plant to bud.


To be continued...

IT'S GREEN...IT HAS LEAVES...IT'S A SCHEFFLERA

Following the death of...the passing...croaking of the fern, I am somewhat pleased to announce the arrival of a new plant. I use the term "somewhat" since nothing can immediately replace that cute, little sassy fern, which stole my heart! There was something about the way she/he grew in that special fern-ish medium a.k.a. dirt with those unique-ish delicate fronds extending from the earth....

Enough mourning.

As I wrote a new plant, a schefflera, has joined the household. I've always admired this specie when passing through the garden centres with its umbrella-like leaves plus it was on sale at Walmart for $2.29. One i.e. me, wonders how 'they' arrive at these weird prices for items. Like $9.97 or $3.39... Be that as it may it was too good a bargain and opportunity to pass up.

One doesn't just pick up the first plant that one lays eyes on because in my humble opinion, the weak species are always placed in the front by store personnel who receive their orders from plant growers.

"Dear Store Clerk or whoever is reading this," they most probably write. "Please note that in spite of our efforts to produce flaw-less species, some of our plants are rejects. To maximize their chances of being sold to suckers...plant lovers, please place this houseplant and others similar in appearance in front of your display."

We're talking here about feeble plants or those with spider mites that will live on average a couple of months (most times less), after which they croak and then you feel guilty and assume the blame when in effect, it's all a big plot to unload those that don't make the grade. Believe me - I know!

After ten to fifteen minutes of looking over, picking-up-and-replacing many plants, finally the decision was made and the dye cast...whatever. The law of gravity even came into play. Pots/containers turned upside down to examine the underside of leaves will result in the falling of earth everywhere. Do scientists know about this?

According to various houseplant sites, raising schefflera is simplicity personified. There is one little downside to this plant, however (isn't there always?): spider mites! Seems that these absolutely ghastly insect interlopera love scheffies (I've already personalized our relationship)! Yesterday as a preventative measure I washed each and every leaf on scheffy, however, if there are any of the usual tell-tale signs of infestation i.e. weeny spider webs, I'll have to switch to insecticide soap. Of course I always use the environmentally-friendly stuff but as someone once mentioned: how friendly could it be given the end result. Always with the guilt.



Here's some garden-friendly sites worth visiting:

http://www.icangarden.com/document.cfm?task=viewcategory&categoryid=266

http://www.perennials.com/

http://gardeninglaunchpad.com/

Suggestions of your favorite gardening sites welcome!!!


www.jrslater.com/forum

The Suicidal Fern

Upon reading about the death of my fern whom I named Fern, it was suggested to me that perhaps - just perhaps - my fern committed suicide of the chlorophyll type. At first I scoffed and laughed at such a suggestion. I mean - c'mon - plant suicide? Then I thought further about this possibility. Is there no end to the guilt I must bear?

See...I left Fern, the fern, in the care of my son and daughter-in-law during a five week holiday, assuming they would at least be able to keep it alive until I returned. Although I'm sure they meant well, they're mere common houseplant caregivers with no experience in this type of species. So in conducting their weekly watering, they probably gave Fern an ample dose of tap water (not bought bottled water as Fern prefers and is accustomed to) to sustain her. Ferns are known to be emotional (somebody told me that) finicky and spiteful. Upon realizing that it was getting water straight from the tap, it probably/could have/might have turned on them (and me) and closed down. Given the temporary caregivers experience dealing with finicky species, they probably figured that the dark green shade it turned was normal, when in effect it was committing suicide.

Actually, I had thought about bringing along Fern on holiday with me but was worried we'd be stopped at the border since the transportation of plants out of the country is a no-no.

"What's that?" a customs officer might have asked, retrieving Fern and holding it up.

"Oh that? Well...it's a plant, kind customs person," I would have told the officer.

"Hmmmm...what type of plant? The kind that you roll the leaves and smoke? Huh?" he must have continued, examining Fern's leaves and sniffing the air.

"It's a fern, officer," I would have answered.

"Oh yeah? How do I know that?" he would have peppered me with questions.

"Trust me. Here - look at the plastic information stick they supply. See? F-E-R-N," I would have told the customs person."

"Perhaps...but you can't transport living things accross the border, y'know!" the customs person would have informed us, matter of factly.

"Why not? I bring him along!" I would have commented, pointing to my husband and laughing.

At that point my husband would, knowing him, chirp in and tell the customs person to confiscate the plant since he's a law-abiding citizen. He's also not a fern lover. Not a fern hater you understand but definitely not a lover or even liker, either.

As for the blooming Christmas Cactus that is covered in red blossoms - it probably flowered in my absence to punish me. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Trust me on that.

When is a Christmas Cactus not a cactus?

My Christmas Cactus is blooming and it's March. Just so bloody typical. In December it looked semi-dead and now it's producing flowers like its attempting to make up for lost time.

When all the other cactus (or cacti?) in the world give their all in December, my plant decides to belatedly welcome the holidays three months later.

Actually and according to plant experts, they're (Christmas Cactus) not really members of the cactus family that live in arid conditions but are raised in a tropical environment.

Go know! I've been treating them like prickly one's watering them perhaps every three weeks or once a month. Sometimes less.

I could be a plant torturer!

According to a plant site that focuses on the care of this plant, "...the key to getting Christmas cactus to flower during the holiday season, is the proper light exposure, correct temperatures and limited watering. So during the fall months, the Christmas cactus should be placed in a spot where it receives indoor indirect bright light during the daylight hours but total darkness at night."

I'm okay in as far as the watering part is concerned and CC is sitting on a bookcase in front of the window where it receives ample and direct sunlight.

So far, so good. One point for me.

At night time I make a point of closing the blinds for privacy but the plant benefits too and that's alright. Two more points in my favor.

The site also advises Christmas Cactus owners that the plant should not be placed near a door that opens and closes at night and to keep it away from drafts and heating ducts. Gimme a break! I will not live my live based on the whims of a plant that doesn't act normally! Then again neither does its caregiver but that as they say, is another whole story. This darn plant receives better care than many members of the family and chooses to defy logic by blooming on St. Paddy's Day.

I'm toying with the idea of repotting the plant. A little plant shake up now and then might bring it to its senses. Or not.

http://www.humeseeds.com/xmasccts.htm for some help dealing with errant Christmas Cactus.

RIP...fern plant!

My fern died.

I wasn't around to do anything about it and that makes it even worse. Ask me if I feel guilty. I do.

I entrusted Fern (my name for her) with a relative who wasn't familiar with ferns while I took a short vacation with instructions to follow the plastic information stick provided by the supplier. Perhaps she received too much water. Perhaps she didn't receive enough. Maybe it had too much light...or not enough light. Go know. When I returned, Fern was a shrivelled up mass of brown.

I feel like I let her down.

Sorry Fern. I tried.

Oh the angst and guilt of plant death!