Sunday, December 31, 2006

HAPPY HOUSEPLANT DAY!

At the beginning of a new year, it's a good idea to scan over the list of major holidays and circle the important days requiring special attention. For example the most obvious celebrations are Christmas, New Year, Easter, Thanksgiving Day, not to mention holidays marking special achievements in the vein of Johnny Appleseed or Saint Valentine for example.

While these holidays should and do get the recognition that they deserve, gardening and houseplant aficionados merit a special day put aside to honor "our kind." It is with this in mind that I propose the establishment of a new celebratory event called,
"Houseplant Day."

The impetus for the creation of this holiday is to set aside a specific day once per year in which to acknowledge the contribution of houseplants to our lives. What would our lives be like without these living organisms that give us so much pleasure and ask nothing in return but habitual doses of water, fertilizer, leaf cleaning, re-potting, insect control from their caregivers?

As the caregiver to a droopy leaved Christmas Cactus, which is the grand-old-dame of the collection, a beloved prayer plant that folds its leaves together in prayer-like stance at the end of the day and a new and sassy addition in the presence of a selaginella kraussiana, keeping these three remaining friends of the chlorophyll-kind alive is a challenge. Over the past three years a finicky ficus bid me a fair adieu as did a sassy schefflera, thanks to of a horde of bugs that decided to call their soil home. Let's just say that the plants and their tormenters have returned to the earth.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the rec. room some senior plants are living out the remainder of their lives stationed in front of a small window, their only source of light. Admittedly, it's not a gracious end for these now tall and gangly plants, which really deserve the prime spots upstairs. The reality is that I've run out of windows and although any respectable houseplant lover would always find space, he-who-is-not-a-plant-lover has issued an ultimatum: it's an either “me or…” situation, the answer to which I'm still pondering.

The actual celebration of Houseplant Day would include an extra dose of food although upon reflection that may not be such a good idea, given their delicate constitution. Perhaps promote the idea of putting a day aside where sports enthusiasts would bring houseplants to a major sports event culminating in a giant fertilization ceremony at half time. Through marketing and publicity politicians could be convinced to promote an “adopt-a-houseplant” scheme since they are known never to pass up an opportunity to be seen by the public in a positive light. With enough publicity we might even convince political leaders to adopt a houseplant. They could hold up a houseplant in the air and address the public while sprinkling manure, which many voters would say is quite appropriate…

So, d'ya think it'll fly? Kind of a love it or leaf it situation.

(Whad'ya think? Should there be a Houseplant Day? Comments welcome!)